Babies and Boat Docks

Boat docks are made to stabilize boats, not children.  The other day, my four-year-old and I learned that the hard way.

With Mommy at one end of the 20-foot pier and five kids at the other, curiosity got the best of an otherwise perfectly dry little girl.

I’m not sure if she just lost her balance on the slightly rocking platform or whether she just leaned over too far without realizing it, but I do know one thing – the sound of a thirty pound splash kicks adrenaline in a mommy faster than nitro-methane does in a daddy.

She fell in, I jumped in, and, praise God, it’s nothing more than an etched memory in our family’s log of amusing things to reminisce.

The detail I learned most from as Maylee’s mom (other than the fact that she really shouldn’t be at the end of a dock without me) is that all the “swimming” with flotation devices at the local YMCA with me actually worked.  For the 10-15 second baptism, that girl was treading water like nobody’s business.  Her head was not submerged.  She didn’t gulp any water.  She never gasped for air.  She may not be able to swim, but my baby did not sink.  Thank God.

And you should have seen her sisters’  reaction to the whole thing.  It was one of extreme concern, extending their little hands and reaching desperately for her as well.

Like I always say, these girls teach me just as much as I teach them.  As I replay the scenario in my “what could I have done differently?” mommy mind and consider what my littlest girl did when she was caught off-guard and thrown into a panicked situation, all I see is myself.

Usually, I’m the one wandering a little too far from the safety of my Protector.  I’m the one curiously contemplating what might be in that deep well of vast unknowns.  And, of course, I’m the one repeatedly falling in, panicking, and then having to fearfully use every ounce of strength I have just to stay afloat.  Sometimes I’m treading so desperately that I, like Maylee, can’t even reach up to grab the hands extended to me.  Even if I could, I’d probably just end up pulling them in with me anyway.

God knows I can’t keep from drowning for too very long on my own, though.  He always jumps right in after me.  He throws out life-preservers (AKA my brothers and sisters in Christ) who continually extend their hands, reach for me, and try to pull me up where they are.

It’s quite ironic, and even more humbling, when I think about the fact that I began my week near-drowning, too.  I wrote another self-pitying rant about my distrust of the church, which translates, ultimately, to my distrust of God Himself, and God, in turn, sent at least five brothers and sisters to lift me out of my self-made, murky, me-first waters.  Talk about eating your words.

I guess it’s hard to think about anything other than treading water when you’re drowning, though.  It’s hard to reach up when you don’t have the strength to stay afloat without your arms – as puny as they are.  Those acts take an enormous amount of trust in the other parties who seek to help – especially if previous “helpers” have annihilated your naivety to trust rightly.

There is only one who Maylee trusted to help her and that was me.  The one who feeds, clothes, and cares for her the most.  All her flailing and fear would have drowned her sisters and left them both sinking if they had jumped in to get her.  She even managed to push my head under a couple times before she got out, but past “I’m pretty sure I’m going to die” triathlon swims have made me strong enough and confident enough to endure much more than that.

Bottom line – you can’t drown your Daddy.  Be it tears, distrust, temper tantrums, or trifles, God is a great swimmer.  If he sees you sinking, he’ll save.  That’s what mommies and daddies do.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jd1KWkmCXFg

Enter: Job

 

Imagine for a moment what the life of Job looked like pre-satanic suffering.  This is how the Bible describes it:

There was a man in the land of Uz whose name was Job, and that man was blameless and upright, one who feared God and turned away from evil. ² There were born to him seven sons and three daughters. ³ He possessed 7,000 sheep, 3,000 camels, 500 yoke of oxen, and 500 female donkeys, and very many servants, so that this man was the greatest of all the people of the east. ⁴ His sons used to go and hold a feast in the house of each one on his day, and they would send and invite their three sisters to eat and drink with them. ⁵ And when the days of the feast had run their course, Job would send and consecrate them, and he would rise early in the morning and offer burnt offerings according to the number of them all. For Job said, “It may be that my children have sinned, and cursed God in their hearts.” Thus Job did continually. ~Job 1:1-5

Here is a man living in a region known for unrighteousness and ungodliness.  Pretty much everyone around him, save his own family, was wicked and unholy.  But the text says Job was “blameless.”  There was nothing for which this man could be accused.  He was “upright.”  He did what was right and just as much as it depended on him.  He also feared God and turned away from evil.  His practice matched his profession of faith.  He obeyed God and abstained from habitual sin.  

We are also told that Job is a a father of ten children, that he is wealthy, of high position in his culture, and very serious about spiritual things.  While it may be less difficult to serve God rightly as a single man living an isolated monastic lifestyle, Job was anything but a loner.  This man had mouths to feed, cattle to tend, property to manage, and sacrifices to offer.  He was not lazy or bored by any means.  But Job’s busyness did not keep him from the things of God.  In fact, he was so concerned for not only his own spiritual condition, but also the spiritual condition of his entire family, that he went above and beyond the necessary sacrifices and made sacrificial offerings for each child individually before any other task each morning.

Clearly, Job did not view his fortunate circumstances as deserved or earned.  He did not presume upon God or his grace.  Job continually pleaded for mercy upon himself and his children.  Although he was a righteous man in every sense, he never denied either his own or his family’s fallenness or potential to sin.  Despite all the wrongness surrounding him, Job refused to conform to the world.  Instead, Job was humble and obedient to the God he sincerely loved.  “Sincerity is the gospel of perfection.” (Matthew Henry)

The world around is quite dark.  It’s human nature to adapt to our surroundings and compromise accordingly – especially when we’ve got piles of heaping worldly responsibilities beckoning to us day in and day out.  It’s easy to push the things of God aside and tread water as best we can.  The more we succeed, the greater our tendency to believe we deserve it.

Job’s flawless example teaches us never to presume upon God’s grace.  Daily, we must submit to the disciplines of faith for ourselves as well as those around us.  We must never underestimate the importance of justice, obedience, prayer, or sacrifice.  That way, when the satanic storms come (and come they will) to kill, steal, and destroy, there’ll be no doubt as to where they originated.  Blameless men don’t create calamity, however, they are often called to endure it.

 As for you, always be sober-minded, endure suffering, do the work of an evangelist, fulfill your ministry. ~2 Timothy 4:5

Servants, be subject to your masters with all respect, not only to the good and gentle but also to the unjust. ¹⁹ For this is a gracious thing, when, mindful of God, one endures sorrows while suffering unjustly. ²⁰ For what credit is it if, when you sin and are beaten for it, you endure? But if when you do good and suffer for it you endure, this is a gracious thing in the sight of God. ~1 Peter 2:18-20

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lWzLgWWu5wU

 

The Last Book I Want to Read

There are two things that, over the course of my Christian life, have driven me veritably insane.  Before anyone again accuses me of actually being insane, let me say that one is indeed false accusation.  The other is being misrepresented and misunderstood by those who are happily willing to assess,evaluate, and conclude every motive and detail of my actions, speech, and circumstances from a comfortable distance, yet are wholly unwilling to sit closely with me with understanding and concern through the pain my Protector has amply provided.  In short, those who want a position of respected authority over me apart from a trusted friendship with me.  And trusted friendships involve a mutual exchange of struggles and weaknesses.

I’m not talking about our culture’s moronic creed that says, “Don’t judge me!  Only God can judge me!”  Any Christian who studies their Bible at all understands that passing judgment in an effort to condemn and feel superior to is oceans away from discerning destructive behavior, deeming it wrong according to Biblical truth (not one’s own opinions or preferences)  and correcting out of love in love.  I’m certainly not saying, “Don’t judge!” I’m saying judge and correct in love only if I can sing “What a friend I have in_________” and confidently insert your name as well as you can mine and we both can Jesus.  That’s all.

Bottom line…if you don’t want to hang out with me, you won’t be the person I’m confiding in.  Did you get that church folk?  If you wouldn’t come to my house or want me to eat at your table, I wouldn’t want you to heroically come to my aide.  Because you’re not my hero.  Jesus is…and those who look and act like him.  And I’m pretty sure I speak for the majority of the unchurched and unbelieving in our nation when I say that.  Anyone who sits in superiority over others cannot truly help them.  There is no such thing as “people projects.”  You cannot reach those you look down upon and personally dislike thinking you’ve made some deal with God to save in his stead to earn some booty from the imaginary vault of merit in the sky.

Let me explain…

Anyone who knows me knows I’m an extremely transparent person.  If you’re my friend and you’re a Christian, you know what I’m struggling with.  Hell, you don’t even have to be my friend, just read my blog and you’ll get more than a few clues.  I’m brutally honest and I’m particularly hard on myself.  I’m always searching for answers, the causes of my effects, and examining my motives for flaws and failures – which, by the way, I continually find in abundance.  As a Christian young woman, I’ve never been one to shy away from sharing struggles, seeking godly counsel, addressing conflict, or heart-baring truth talks.

But honesty is uncomfortable.  It makes people nervous…even when they aren’t the one being honest.  Apparently, there’s an unwritten religious people rule that says that if I’m being honest and you’re not willing to, you have to paint me as the impious pretender that you actually are in order to save your own ass.  That way, you can stay perfectly polished in public and I can be the only problem in my otherwise prim and proper life.  But what is the truth?

 If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. ⁹ If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. ~1 John 1:8-9

Well, as I tried to discern what book of the Bible to study and write on next, I began to sweat.  I know that each time I study, God opens the Word in my life and I truly experience some of the very same trials that those men and women of old faced.  Through life experiences, God teaches me his truth.  My only request was, please, God, please not Job.

Today I begin the book of Job.  Perhaps the Lord will have mercy.  I’m hoping for that.  Besides, I can certainly already relate, not to his horrific hardships, but to his lonesome despair in the face of his supposed friends’ misunderstanding, false accusations, and utter insensitivity during his darkest days.

Daddy, I search for you insatiably.  Please, give me a hearing.  Better yet, just be my faithful friend when I can’t find one.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gixANklQ48I

Hoping Through Hell

 

On day one post-marathon I was convinced that running may truly be an activity I’d have to refer to pre-May 2013.  Six days later, I think my right foot is finally starting to forgive me.  Perhaps I will run again someday – hopefully next week.  Hopefully.

As I sat painfully stretching, examining my mystery injury, I considered Romans 10:15.

 And how are they to preach unless they are sent? As it is written, “How beautiful are the feet of those who preach the good news!”

My foot looks lovely enough, I thought, but it feels like an unforgiving failure.  What was most definitely caused by overuse and under-attention has kept me limping for the better part of the past week.  

Oh, foot, I can surely relate.

I have to admit I was a little worried about pulling off my daughter’s eight-year-old birthday party on Friday when the pain wasn’t subsiding.  

How can I bring good news to others if my feet can’t take me where I need to go?  And if I go despite my pain, how will I ever heal?  Now I know why the Lord gave me a pain-filled foot post-marathon.

My only answer this week has been hope.  Hope.  Hope that I wouldn’t live out the rest of my days full of pain and run-less.  Each day I told myself, “Tomorrow will be better.”  And each day I woke up without a better-feeling foot.  But hope repeated, “Tomorrow will be better.”  Six days went by without any better-ness.  In fact, I’m positive there was some worse-ness mixed in there somewhere.  But today is day seven.  Today is Sunday.  Today is Mother’s Day.  New beginnings are bound to burst forth.  I’ve refrained from running for an entire week and rested as much as possible with three children running circles around me.  I’ve kindly attended, stretched, and slept.  My foot is finally forgiving.

But will my feet be beautiful today?  I can only hope.  Here’s the good news I’ve brought to make them brilliant:

Some days we’re called to run.  Some days we’re called to rest.  When we get the two confused, pain ensues and failure is imminent.  As Christians, we will receive the prize of eternal life with Christ.  But that’s not until day seven.  First, he’s promised us six days of suffering, sacrifice, persecution, and pain.  

Who’s in?

Bringing the good news to others often means limping when you want to lounge.  It means providing when you feel the most pain.  It means resting when you really want to run.  Most of all, it means hoping against every hesitation of hell – especially when there is no bona fide better-ness in the here and now.   

Limp.  Humility always precedes valuable ministry.

Provide.  Give freely that which has been freely given to you.

Rest.  Running wild without repose is a remedy for retardation.

Hope.  When the present is harsh, hellish, unhealthy, and unhappy, fix your eyes on the future.  Hope is holy.  It is brought by our Great Helper – the Holy Spirit.

 For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? ²⁵ But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience. ~Romans 8:24-25

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sBKybUusyP8

For the Love of a Weed

After his repetitive turn or burn speeches, Jonah hightails it out of town.  He sits down outside the city of Nineveh, far removed from any after-sermon interaction or activity with those he secretly hopes will not heed his words and will just go away somehow.  Instead of investing in those he is sent to minister to, he neurotically watches them, doubtless waiting impatiently for ill to come to them.

Jonah went out of the city and sat to the east of the city and made a booth for himself there. He sat under it in the shade, till he should see what would become of the city. ⁶ Now the Lord God appointed a plant and made it come up over Jonah, that it might be a shade over his head, to save him from his discomfort. So Jonah was exceedingly glad because of the plant. ⁷ But when dawn came up the next day, God appointed a worm that attacked the plant, so that it withered. ⁸ When the sun rose, God appointed a scorching east wind, and the sun beat down on the head of Jonah so that he was faint. And he asked that he might die and said, “It is better for me to die than to live.” ⁹ But God said to Jonah, “Do you do well to be angry for the plant?” And he said, “Yes, I do well to be angry, angry enough to die.” ¹⁰ And the Lord said, “You pity the plant, for which you did not labor, nor did you make it grow, which came into being in a night and perished in a night. ¹¹ And should not I pity Nineveh, that great city, in which there are more than 120,000 persons who do not know their right hand from their left, and also much cattle?” ~Jonah 4:5-11

God is less than impressed with Jonah’s temper tantrum.  But God is full of grace.  He seeks to teach Jonah through his foolishness.  Using a weed and a worm, God shows Jonah his error.  

God gave Jonah temporary comfort and quickly dismissed it in exchange for pain.  As most humans would, Jonah loved the comfort and hated the pain.  The tragedy for this God-fearing man is that neither circumstance seemed to drive him toward God in the least.  The former made him rejoice in a created thing.  The latter made him curse his own life.  Instead of thanking God for his good will, he basks in the glory of the plant.  Instead of turning to God in his pain,  he despairs and becomes irate.

Oh, Jonah, how I wish I weren’t you.

In his great mercy, God again asks a simple question of his child.

“Do you do well to be angry for the plant?”

With crossed arms and plastered poker face, Jonah keeps his guard up and sticks with his story.  Too bad his story sounds like something my four-year-old would say after stubbing her toe because she didn’t wear shoes outside.  Disobedience breeds contempt.  

God shows Jonah how his love for a weed which he had no hand in making mirrors the selfishness he is exhibiting towards a people God himself created – a people who are dreadfully lost and helpless.  He’s showing Jonah his gross inconsistency.  He’s exposing Jonah’s hypocrisy.  He may see his fellow humans as obstacles in his way and weeds to be cut down, but God loves weeds like you and me.

It may seem harsh and unreasonable to give and to take away only to teach an object lesson about anger, but these are the ways of God.  If it was up to me, I’d probably just clock Jonah a good one.  But then I’d get clocked for being angry with Jonah.  Drat!  I guess God’s ways are better.  

When God begins to show us our many faults, expose our underlying sin, and question us closely about it all, we would do well to uncross our arms, humble our poker face, stop the four-year-old excuse-making, and simply examine ourselves for foolishness, hypocrisy, and inconsistency.  Why?  Because God opposes the proud.  It’s the humble to whom he gives grace.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GSg-TmZRh6k

Pouting Prophet

Jonah has delivered a severe warning to an exceedingly rebellious people.  By the power of God’s spoken word, the sin-filled people of Nineveh whole-heartedly repented.  As they turn to God for mercy, Jonah exits their company quicker than a cockroach and turns to isolation and selfish anger.

Jonah had gone out and sat down at a place east of the city. There he made himself a shelter, sat in its shade and waited to see what would happen to the city. ~Jonah 4:5

It’s likely a people so grieved and hurting over their past failures would be extremely grateful for the prophet who corrected them.  Doubtless, they not only listened to his instructions, but also respected him greatly.  Surely they welcomed him to their own homes and tables.  

But Jonah wasn’t interested.  Jonah was angry.  He had an arrogant chip on his very religious shoulder.  He refused any kindness or invitation shown by the ones he thought spiritually inferior and socially undeserving of his time.  He avoided any additional contact post-wrath and condemnation pontification with any of the very people he was sent to minister to.  In fact, he acted as though they didn’t even exist.  Like a spoiled, unbelieving brat, he perched himself in a place they were not and proceeded to pout.  All the while likely hoping they’d still be destroyed.

Looking from the outside, one can easily see how Jonah’s anger, pride, and selfishness with God’s grace could have greatly hindered his message.  I mean, how would you feel if the dude who was yelling at you to repent day after day claiming to be sent from God clearly despised you, not just when you were in sin, but even when you were seeking God in repentance?  Jonah’s pettiness could have dissuaded Nineveh from obedience.  His hypocrisy could have led to their dismissing of his true words as lies and given them another excuse to justify their own sin.  Then again, perhaps that’s what Jonah really wanted anyway…to be the only one possessing God’s favor in the world…obviously he deserved it more than they did, right?  And all the good church people of the world said, “Hell no!”

Fortunately, Nineveh didn’t base their repentance on their feelings or on their preacher’s failures.  They based their repentance on heeding God’s word alone.  I guess it just further proves how God alone works salvation and men are but broken tools in the process.  (If you’ve never had a broken tool, talk to my husband.  He can tell you a thing or two about the frustration and aggravation those babies bring.)

Jonah may indeed have been a godly man, raised and groomed in proper pious service to God.  He’s not in the temple anymore, though.  Jonah is in the real world now.  It’s time to grow up, get over himself, and allow God to work in ways he’s never imagined.  Jonah must begin to trust God’s word more than he trusts his own work.  I’m pretty sure that was the plan all along anyway.

Ironically, God is about to use a tiny worm – a trifle, a nothing, a no one – to show him his error. 

Fellow gospel-sharers, who is Nineveh to you?  Is there someone out there to whom you’re unwilling to extend grace and mercy?  Are there those to whom you’ll preach and provoke but never prefer, play nice, or participate practically with?  Get the religious superiority, social class, preferential prejudice chips off of your shoulder now lest God humble you by using a worm, a fool, or even…*gasp*… a little girl,  to shame you who think yourselves so very wise.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s4QL0L9fgbg

Public Spectacle

 

Crowds lined the streets for miles yesterday.  For my fourth running of the Pittsburgh marathon/half marathon, I chose to run as Wonder Woman.

All of a sudden, an average runner without fans or family present to cheer her on became a star.

“Go Wonder Woman!”

“We love you Wonder Woman!”

“Look!  It’s Wonder Woman!”

The crowd was awesome.  They definitely kept me running.  From the expressions on their faces, I think a few small children actually believed I was a real superhero.  I waved and high-fived so many people over the 26.2 mile course that I do believe my smile-muscles are more sore from laughing than my back and leg muscles are from running.

After the marathon I grabbed the kids and headed straight to see my hero at the flashlight drags in Waynesburg.  My husband sponsors legal drag racing at the airport there over the summer.  They loved Wonder Woman there, too.  

I got to start the races, “race” my car, and had a photo shoot for their next magazine.  I think I might just change my identity permanently. 

All the attention got me to thinking what it might be like to really be a star.  Then I remembered that every single Christian is called to be just that.

Do everything without grumbling or arguing, ¹⁵ so that you may become blameless and pure, “children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.”Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky ¹⁶ as you hold firmly to the word of life. And then I will be able to boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor in vain. ~Philippians 2:14-16

The Bible instructs us to “shine like stars” so that those who have taught us how to live godly lives will not have “run or labored in vain.”  And this girl knows what it feels like to run in vain.  (Once I ran a 20 mile race where they cleaned up the cones, the clock, and finished the post-race party as well as all the hot soup on a 20 degree day before I’d even finished running!)

Apparently, our willingness to be stars is the fruit of our leaders’ efforts, (and the Holy Spirit of course.)  If we choose not to shine, they suffer discouragement and dejection after having exhausted themselves running hard for our benefit.

Being a Christian star is a bit more complex than changing into a superhero costume, though.  Instead, in Philippians 2:12-16, the Bible tells us to do these things:

1. Obey.  If the Bible says to do or not do something, we must listen.

2. “Work out” your salvation.  It tells us to do this with fear and trembling.  We must be serious about our spiritual life – as serious as elite athletes are about their physical training.

3. Do all things without complaining or arguing.  When we’re at mile 22 of a really rough work day, God’s Word still hold us to a high standard of self-control.  Refraining from a negative attitude keeps us “blameless and innocent” in difficult situations.

4.  Hold fast to the word of life.  Be true to the gospel and to Jesus Christ.  Be faithful.  Doing so has the power to make you shine.

Being Wonder Woman for a day was really fun.  Fortunately, I don’t have to change my identity in order to be a real star.  All I have to do is abide in Christ, abide in his word, and be conformed to his identity through them both.  Then, my race will be truly amazing.

Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.²⁵ Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. ~1 Corinthians 9:24-25

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6-vtflKzeNU