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Archive for November, 2009

Will the Circle Be Unbroken

A transient air of hopelessness overrides my holiday spirit. My late father’s favorite song airs from my clock radio to wake me on this beautiful Sunday morning. As I listen recalling both the pain and joy of both the last few days and the last few years, the bittersweet reality of death lends its understanding and gives me strength to face the day.

“I was standing by my window
On one cold and cloudy day
When I saw that hearse come rolling
For to carry my mother away”

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I Obeyed…or Did I?

Yesterday I decided I’d made the wrong decision in trying to homeschool Mia. I was tired of the frequent whining about going to “real school” and frankly I feel completely inept for the job.

“It’s PRESCHOOL!” you say, “how could you be inept?” Remember when your teachers used to ask, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” I answered that question in highschooll by saying,”I don’t know, but I KNOW I could NEVER be a teacher!” It takes far more effort for me to “teach” a preschooler than it does to train for marathons. Not only do I feel underqualified, with two other babies at home, I don’t feel I have time to prepare or adequately focus on teaching.

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It’s still dark on Sunday morning on November 1, 2009. I’ve been involuntarily reflecting on how I’ve changed in recent years. It’s not as though I’ve planned to reminice, but I suppose when one finds herself on the precipice of a new decade, it’s something that tends to happen naturally.

I woke up sincerely thankful for what may seem like a rather small blessing to some — a full night of unbroken sleep. The kids have been sick for 6 days and mommies know that night is no time for rest when the babies are sick.
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