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Archive for June, 2010

“The Villain”

So…Pastor Nathan told us to write a poem…idk how good this is but…at least I tried…lol

“The Villain”

Pride unbridled, selfish sums
Hatred burning, lustful tongue
How, O Lord, could you allow?
It’s only I from whence they come.

O hopeless state! O empty faith!
Great rest of heaven I’ll NEVER taste!
Lest I be purged this sin inside
N’er cleansed, N’er clean
Lest Christ, in truth, in me reside.

Give me Jesus! Give me faith!
Give me rest in heaven I pray!
Leave me not unclean, unclad
Untie my sordid mess, my Dad.

Uncouth, unclothed, unchaste, profane
Came I to your house today
Altar, altar I must stay
Til Christ reworks this jar of clay. ~Lori Rodehaver =)

“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.” ~James 1:17

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Swimming in the lake with Mia yesterday I asked her, “What do you think God is doing right now?”  Without hesitation she replied, “Building houses for us made out of gold and balloons!”  (She probably god the gold from being taught about the streets of gold in heaven and the balloons because everytime her or Addie accidentally lets their balloon go, the only way to avoid sever mental breakdown is to assure them that God is keeping each lost balloon in heaven for them.)  Who says kids don’t use perfect logic? (more…)

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Drops of water fall on my already tear-soaked face. My mind twists like a rubix cube every possible cause and effect of my so called beliefs and my not-carried-out-yet actions. Why does nothing seem to make sense anymore? Why am I so damn sad? What the hell is wrong with me? Who is to blame? And WHY can’t someone successfully show me the irrationality of it all? It must be my lack of faith. Why does peace seem so elusive when I know the One from whom it comes? I’m not looking for a fix-me-up formula. God knows if one actually worked we’d all be using it. I’m just starving for something – someone who isn’t afraid to be real. The constant superficial semantics are driving me out of my mind. This shower stall, the middle of the the night appointments with my porch, and this notebook are my only advocates. I’m not looking for a formula, I just want something real.

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