It’s Tuesday. Ten miles are to be turned in before breakfast if I intend to stay on track. But it’s nine degrees. And I’m cold standing on this side of the window. My thoughts begin to turn toward negligence and laziness as I begin the process of self-preservation.
No! Don’t think one more thought! Go and accept that you’re going to be cold! This ain’t the prom, you pansy, it’s you’re prime. Deal with it. Go.
I suit up in tube socks, pants, three shirts, two scarves, two hats, two pairs of gloves, and, most importantly, my hymns.
I exit the safety and warmth of privilege and run full force into the bleak, frigid, dim daylight. The wind picks up and I feel like I’m hollow.
Go. Your songs will carry you.
Thee will I cherish. Thee will I honor.
I sing to my Lord, or maybe, more appropriately, He sings to me, as dawn breaks forth his glory. I now know that there is simply nothing else in life quite like running hard in the freezing cold and seeing my God burst open the revelation of his awesome glory. It is an experience that far surpasses any earthly joy. Providence peering into pain is perfection.
Fair is the sunshine.
Curling my frozen fingers into a fist and repositioning my scarf once again over my face, I fear frostbite and physical failing. Should I stop? Turn around before I get too far away from safety?
Fairer still the moonlight.
Go. If you stop, you’ll miss the glory to come. He will make your woeful heart sing.
Just before the five mile turnaround, all extremities are numb and fatigue starts to set in. I wonder if I’ll need a getaway car to take me from this absurd expedition. I text my friends in hopes to boost morale.
They tell me I’m crazy and I tell them, no, it’s just that perseverance is trying to finish its work in me. I must face my fears.
Several LOL’s later I’m nearing the end of my journey and I stop to see my husband at work.
“You look cold. You want me to take you home?”
“Yeah. I’m pretty cold. Take me home.”
As I shiver under the covers, unable to do much else, I listen to the still, small voice speak once again.
Life is cold. But you must go outside. Listen to my songs, Lori. Look to my sky, not your ground, for revelation. Help others to do the same and learn perseverance together. If you turn around too soon, you’ll miss the glory to come. Stop trying to stay so damn safe. Trust Me when I say I’ll drive you home when you are too cold to keep running.
Go, brothers and sisters. Go and don’t stop until your Groom tells you you’ve had enough.