It’s four a.m. The wind is howling like an underfed wolf. The few dim lights which remain begin to flicker. Sirens abound. And then…darkness.
Darkness sets in upon darkness.
The dimness of what was left is now gone, too.
I’m left with a choice. Do I lay in the darkness and close my eyes hoping light will come later? Or do I forge into the darkness alone and create new light – light unrestricted by favorable conditions?
I am a creature of habit. I am a lover of light. I will not retreat. I will fight the darkness and create light. I will search for light more diligently than the ravenous wolf of darkness seeks to snuff it out.
I light a candle. I load batteries into a flashlight. I pray for those whom the sirens are sounding. I wait for the Lord to make his presence known as I pour over his Word.
Light wins. The darkness may be thick and thorough, but the light is always more competent to attract.
How tempting it is to resist our call to be the unrestricted, unconditional light! To stay in bed; to wish for dreams; to refuse the work and discipline it takes to be pioneers of the Light.
It reminds me of my daughter and her math. She will spend hours beligerently completing what would take mere minutes with proper compliance. She will work much harder trying not to work than she would if she’d just do her work obediently.
But the flesh is saying, “Anything but that! Don’t touch me there, God. I’m willing to waste time, whine, cry, sit in a chair for hours, but I will not do that.”
In the flicker of my candle, in the eye of my prayer, in the wisdom of the Word, I see myself. When faced with whatever creates utter darkness for me, I am again a bantering eight year old. I’ll say things like, “I’ll go anywhere except there, God. I’ll befriend anyone but them. I’ll repent of anything but that. I’ll give you anything but this. I’ll trust you for everything except _________.”
In this refusal of the Light, I cease to shine. I give in to the darkness. I close my eyes and I sleep in doubtful hope – which is not hope at all. I allow darkness to overcome me and I begin to lose the battle.
21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good…8 Owe no one anything, except to love each other, for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law. ~Romans 12:21, 13:8
Goodness. Love. Unrestricted; unconditional. That’s what I have been given. That is the mission of the Light. That is my call as a lover of it – of Him.
Pray that no matter how the dark the darkness becomes that I stay hungrier than the wolf.