“Sometimes when I try to read the Bible I feel like throwing my hands up and quitting because I don’t understand,” says my fellow ladies Bible study attendee.
“Sometimes that’s how I feel because I do understand!” I reply.
Here’s an outtake from Loriland on why this is true:
There are times I see the truth and it is so hard. In the Bible I see the best men getting the worst lots…on earth. I see God silent as they continuously cry out to him for help and relief. I see other men and women doing this life so much better for Christ than I ever will and I loathe myself for the perpetual indwelling sin I should have put off long ago. I see the altogether sovereign will of my Father doing whatsoever he wishes with each and every created being he has ever made and I am humbled by his absolute authority to do just that. I remind myself that he is God and I am not and I get mad because I want control. Then I grovel in self loathing some more for having such thoughts. I see no where to go but back to him when I cannot understand and do not like his means and methods. I feel inadequate, convicted, small, and helpless. I am. I realize that I always have been and always will be. I know what he wants. My obedience – even more, my trust. The one cannot come without the other.
Could I really have been studying this same old book for the better part of the past twenty years and still be stalled by the truths that trump all of my for what’s and faithless excuses? I consider what spiritual age I could possibly be. Two? Maybe three? Right. That’s why I want to quit sometimes when I understand the Bible. But I don’t. And I won’t. Because he won’t let me. Thank God that his ways are not my ways.
But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace toward me was not in vain. ~1 Corinithians 15:10